There Ain't No Devil, It's Just God When He's Drunk

Like the rest of the world, Britain seems to be throwing itself behind the idea of eco-friendly, earth saving initiatives, like using cloth tote bags and energy efficient light bulbs. But they are still not quite sure what recycling means.

I remember when I was studying abroad here as a third year student, we were given three blue recycling bins in addition to our trash can. Good first step- learning to separate trash and recyclables. However, only the trash was ever removed from our university dorm, meaning that in order to recycle any of our stuff, we would have to do it ourselves. This wasn't so much of a problem because lucky enough for us, there was a recycling station only a block away. And by recycling station, I mean a series of large bins delineated for clear glass, green glass, brown glass, paper, and clothes. The British (or at least the Scots) still haven't discovered that Aluminium and certain plastics are also recyclable.

Anyway, after uni, me and Scottie moved to the Tollcross, where I'm sure the closest recycling centre is still way the hell up in Marchmont, a good hike away when you're loaded down with countless glass bottles. Since Scottie and I don't really drink alcohol a lot in our flat, we didn't really have to deal with recycling anything, although it killed my a little bit and made my soul cry to toss the odd glass jar or coke can away.

When I came back to do a Masters, I was in disbelief. This time around, I was shocked to see a lot of recycle bins in the back next to where we have our trash bins. It was amazing! Even though our only recycle options were paper and glass, it was still better than nothing, and I made sure to have everything sorted. I think I even increased wine consumption with the joy of knowing that Mother Gaia was smiling at my recycling efforts.

Then I came back to the UK after my victorious battle against idiots at the LA British Consulate. After celebrating wit copious amounts of wine, I went to deposit the bottles in the recycling. EXCEPT THEY WERE LOCKED. Out of 5 glass recycling bins, all of them were locked. Apparently one restaurant owns a key. No one knows who owns the others. And it's not like CA, where you can save up your recyclables and cash them in for moolah. Nope. You either recycle them or you don't. Since I didn't want to throw my bottles away, I stacked them on top of one of the locked recycling bins, in the hopes that someone would see how stupid it was to lock recycling bins.

So now, a select few get to feel all high and mighty and lord over the rest of us because they hold the fabled keys to keeping the earth clean, while the rest of us are forced to see the bins, but not use them. How, Scotland, can you espouse green living, when you don't even provide ways of recycling to residents who are so green (or poor) they don't even own a car?How can I get in the 'I have a key' club? And why don't you know that aluminium is recyclable!?!