Saturday 29 August 2009

Blogger found buried in yarn

1 Throwing Stars Shanked by Leashie on Saturday, August 29, 2009

Oh hai. Where have I been? Doing f* all except knitting and updating my knitting blog waaaaaay more dilligently than this one.

In terms of life, things are moving. My Honey is getting set to move to LAAANDON in less than a week (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh), leaving me here to work my wee fingers to the bone, alllllll alone, for another 3 months. Actually, I've noticed that the work gods like to frequently piss on my parade whenever I plan on taking a holiday. I'd managed to swap my schedule around enough at the Library to take a whole week off without having to lose a day of pay so that I could get down to London and move my half of my shit in to our new flat. I'd worked out the cheapest way to get down to London (via Brimingham as it happens) and then out to Surbiton. I was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to buying the tickets, but I was waiting until the start of the month when I got paid. And then I got a call from the Temp Agency. Temp Agency said the Hospital of Hell wanted me back for two weeks to cover a holidayh leave. So I was faced with either declining and going through with my soujourn down to London, or working the two weeks, make about what I make in a MONTH of working at the Library, and then plan to go down to London at the end of the month for Kiki's birthday.

I caved and said I'd do it.

So starting Monday 14, I will be going back to the Hospital of Hell to do reception for two weeks (and hopefully making some yarn money rent/train fare/food money). BUT, because I swapped all my days around to plan for a week off, it means I am working a full Monday-Saturday weeek at the library for one of those two weeks ON TOP of the Hopsital job. So I'm doing 14 hour days.

And I know that as much as I need to scrimp and save right now to be able to afford London life, I plan on living off Ramen noodles for 2 months and treating myself to ENOUGH YARN FOR A KICK ASS SWEATER.

 

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Tuesday 18 August 2009

Geneology

0 Throwing Stars Shanked by Leashie on Tuesday, August 18, 2009

All this Eastern European thinking (I know, I know, I still have 3 more days of adventures to post!) really got me thinking about my grandpa. He died when I was 10 (or 9), and while I remember being very close to him, I didn't really know anything about his past. I guess blathering on about early days Czechoslovakia isn't something you do when there are tractors to be ridden.

I wrote to my grandma to try to get more info on him now. She said that the tried to get his birth certificate and lucked out because she didn't thing she would have been able under the then communist regime. She said she also managed to get his school referral letter from Minnasota to back up the certificate. The city says Rozdelov ahn Kladno, but grandma says that his mom also gave Kladno as their original home. However, for all we know, Rozdelov ahn could just mean City of...

His original name was Vladislav Vilém Jilek, (wow, so European!) but changed his name to William Vietor Yilek, and then again to William (Bill) Victor Yilek. Apparently entering a new country during the late 1920s/30 (not sure when, but just shortly after WWI ended) with a name like Vladislav was a bit scary, so my grandpa went with his middle name which translated better.

I wish I had this info when I went to the Czech republic 4 years ago. I've alway been curious to see the city where my granpa grew up, and had I known it was only 30 kilom. from Prague, I would have put in some effort to make the journey. I remember grandpa telling me it was in the heart of Bohemia, which is why he found it so amusing that we lived a few miles from Bohemian Hwy.

 

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Tuesday 11 August 2009

Krakow Adventure Day 5

0 Throwing Stars Shanked by Leashie on Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Due to my rant on immigration, I totally lost track that I was still recounting my Krakow adventures.


July 30 2009

Today was castle day!


We walked to Wawel Castle around 11. Jim found a tour guide who would give us a tour of St. Stanislaus Cathedral. He was EXTREAMLY knowledgeable and really explained the cathedral well. Unfortunately, you're not allowed to take any pictures inside, but it's glitzy! Since it was the Royal Cathedral for the kings of Poland (before the capital was moved to Warsaw), it is filled with gold and silver.



There is a solid silver reliquary in the centre of the nave which holds the remains of St. Stanislaus. Our guide explained all the tombs, the history of the kings buried in them, and how Pope John Paul II (who grew up and lived in Krakow) used the cathedral. Then we went to tour the palace.

Unfortunately, you have to buy tickets in advance for things like the private rooms and such, and a lot of the tickets were sold out (as a way to keep the rooms preserved). But we did get to see the State rooms and the Armoury. Both were very impressive and again, filled with gold and colour. Next we went to climb the bell tower of the cathedral. The way up was very cool with lots of twisting stairs and ducking under large timer supports. Boy were my legs hurting afterwards!



By the time we left, we had spent 5 hours at the castle.

We left the ground via the Dragon's cave. There is an old story that Wawel Castle was terrorised by a dragon 1,000 years ago. This dragon lived under the castle grounds and would eat pretty Polish girls. One day, a clever 15 year old boy filled a sheep's fleece with sulphur and left it outside of the dragon's cave. The dragon ate it, but the sulphur started burning his stomach and he ran down to the river to drink. This caused the sulphur to react and the dragon blew up. The king was so grateful he have the boy his daughter to marry. A few hundred years later, peasants digging by the river found some large bones that they believed to be the dragon's. They hung them on the door of the Cathedral and the saying goes that the bones will hang there until the end of the world- or that if they fell, it would be the sign of the apocalypse. However, modern scientists have identified the bones to belong to a whale jaw and an ancient rhino that used. We went back to Kazimierz for a big late lunch/early dinner. Later that night we just had a wee snack of Zapiekana, a Polish grilled baguette pizza thing that you can get from vendors.

 

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Friday 7 August 2009

WHAT?!?!

1 Throwing Stars Shanked by Leashie on Friday, August 07, 2009

I just took another citizen practice test. I failed this too. BUT get this: The question was :

In which TWO of the following places does the European Parliament meet?
A) Paris
B)Strasbourg
C) London

Hmmm, where is the Brussles option, AKA the headquarters of the EU? No idea, so I'll go Paris and Strasbroug.

Incorrect. The correct answers were B Strasbourg and D Brussels. Information on this topic can be found on page 53 of the 'Life in the United Kingdom: A Journey to Citizenship Handbook.

THERE WAS NO FUCKING OPTION D!!!! How can you expect me to answer correctly if YOU DON'T GIVE ME ALL THE OPTIONS?!?!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKERS!

 

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Can't be British

0 Throwing Stars Shanked by Leashie on Friday, August 07, 2009

This REALLY hacks me off- the Powers That Be over at our good friends Immigration have decided to administer a test to all people wishing to acquire British Citizenship. Now, there are certain elements that I do agree with, such as, if you are willing to change your nationality, then you should be fluent in the dominant language of that country. I would definitely expect me to learn Spanish and probably Quechua if i wanted to be an official citizen of Peru. So I got that one covered for UK life. But what about the other questions? These are the ones chosen by the BBC:

Question 1
Life in the UK says to be British means you should...
A: "Respect laws, the elected political structures, traditional values of mutual tolerance and respect for rights and mutual concern."
B: "Share in the history and culture of an island nation with a character moulded by many different peoples over more than two thousand years."
C: "be part of a modern European democracy, one with a tradition of sharing our ways with the world – and allowing the world to bring its ways to us."
Question 2
Almost 60m people live in the UK. By what factor do the native-born English outnumber their Scots or Welsh neighbours?
A: By nine to one
B: By seven to one
C: By six to one
Question 3
"The origins of our Parliament were in the early Middle Ages. In 1215 the great barons forced rights from a tyrannical King John". What is that document called?
A: The Mappa Mundi
B: The Magna Carta
C: The Bill of Rights
Question 4
When did all 18-year-olds get the vote?
A: 1918
B: 1928
C: 1969
Question 5
There are four national saints' days in the UK, one for each nation. Which order do they fall in the calendar?
A: St Andrews, St Patrick's, St David's and St George's
B: St David's, St Patrick's, St George's and St Andrews
C: St George's, St Patrick's, St Andrews and St David's
Question 6
According to Life in the UK, where does Father Christmas come from?
A: Lapland
B: Iceland
C: The North Pole
Question 7
According to the book, where does the myth of Father Christmas come from?
A: The Victorians
B: Pagan myths updated by Shakespeare
C: German/Swedish immigrants to the USA
Question 8
Life in the UK explains what to do if you spill someone's pint in the pub (we're not making this up). What, according to the book, usually happens next?
A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park
Question 9
You've unfortunately had that fight and are bleeding from a well-placed left hook. Which two telephone numbers can you call for an ambulance?
A: 999 or 112
B: 999 or 111
C: 999 or any other digit three times
Question 10
What or who is PG (again, according to the guide)?
A: One of the brand names for the national British drink, tea
B: A Personal Guide, a British-born mentor provided to each immigrant applying for nationality
C: Part of the cinema film classification system
Question 11
The British are a nation of animal lovers, says Life in the UK. What must dog owners do?
A: Get a licence
B: Get the dog neutered
C: Get a collar with the owner's name and address
Question 12
Back to that pub. The police turn up with the ambulance and an officer asks you to attend an interview at the station. What are your rights?
A: You don't have to go if you are not arrested, but if you do go voluntarily you are free to leave at any time
B: You must go. Failure to attend an interview is an arrestable offence
C: You must go if you are a foreign national
Question 13
What's the minimum time you must have been married before you can divorce?
A: Six months
B: One year
C: Two years
Question 14
And finally, what does Life in the UK tell you it is "very important" to do when engaging a solicitor?
A: Ask if they have a potential conflict of interest
B: Ensure they are qualified in the area of law of concern
C: Find out how much they charge

Now, I've been here 5 years. 5 years!!
So how did I do? And mind you, I did have to ask My Honey for help on a few...

Life in the UK says to be British means you should... I picked C...because with all the broohaha about the EU, I figured that was what they were after, although in my opinion, it should have been ALL OF THE ABOVE

A: "Respect laws, the elected political structures, traditional values of mutual tolerance and respect for rights and mutual concern."
B: "Share in the history and culture of an island nation with a character moulded by many different peoples over more than two thousand years."
C: "be part of a modern European democracy, one with a tradition of sharing our ways with the world � and allowing the world to bring its ways to us."

The answer was A

Question 2
Almost 60m people live in the UK. By what factor do the native-born English outnumber their Scots or Welsh neighbours?
A: By nine to one
B: By seven to one
C: By six to one

The answer was A

Question 3
"The origins of our Parliament were in the early Middle Ages. In 1215 the great barons forced rights from a tyrannical King John". What is that document called?
A: The Mappa Mundi
B: The Magna Carta
C: The Bill of Rights

The answer was B
The Answer is B. The Mappa Mundi is an ancient map of the world held at Hereford Cathedral and the Bill of Rights came later in 1689.
Question 4
When did all 18-year-olds get the vote? I chose 1928...because i figured that was around when women in the US were given the right to vote and that maybe that whole go to war thing post WWI would make it leagal for war going youths to vote. Nope.
A: 1918
B: 1928
C: 1969

The answer was C
The answer is C. Women over 30-years-old got the vote in 1918. Ten years later the law equalised the franchise for all men and women over 21. In 1969 the then Labour government lowered the voting age to 18.
Question 5
There are four national saints' days in the UK, one for each nation. Which order do they fall in the calendar? I KNEW that St. Patricks day is March 17 (almost an American holiday), and that St. Andrew's is in November, but I had NO Idea where the other days fell. My Honey was incredibly wrong in asking if there was a St. Georges, St. Andrews, St. Patricks combo.
A: St Andrews, St Patrick's, St David's and St George's
B: St David's, St Patrick's, St George's and St Andrews
C: St George's, St Patrick's, St Andrews and St David's

The answer was B
The dates are 1 March (David for Wales), 17 March (Patrick for N Ireland), 23 April (George for England) and 30 November (Andrew for Scotland)
Question 6
According to Life in the UK, where does Father Christmas come from? I asked My Honey TWICE if it was Lapland. And then I made fun of him for NEVER seeing any of the American movies which clearly state that Santa is from the North Pole. Because he totally is. But My Honey was insistant. Bastard.
A: Lapland
B: Iceland
C: The North Pole

The answer was C

Question 7
According to the book, where does the myth of Father Christmas come from? This is another one I am kicking myself for. I KNEW it was immigrants to the US and I even had that ticked, but then I started second guessing myself and said 'well, if the Victorians introcuded the Christmas Tree, maybe they brought the Santa story too.'
A: The Victorians
B: Pagan myths updated by Shakespeare
C: German/Swedish immigrants to the USA

The answer was C
This is a hotly disputed issue, not least because of the role of the Coca Cola Company in updating the legend in the early 20th Century.
Question 8
Life in the UK explains what to do if you spill someone's pint in the pub (we're not making this up). What, according to the book, usually happens next?
A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park

The answer was A
Manners should prevail, says the guide, saying it would be "prudent" to buy a replacement.
Question 9
You've unfortunately had that fight and are bleeding from a well-placed left hook. Which two telephone numbers can you call for an ambulance? Right but cheated- I had to ask my Honey which one it was, 112 or 111
A: 999 or 112
B: 999 or 111
C: 999 or any other digit three times

The answer was A
The UK introduced the 112 number to help foreign visitors who may not know that 999 is the main emergency number.
Question 10
What or who is PG (again, according to the guide)?
A: One of the brand names for the national British drink, tea
B: A Personal Guide, a British-born mentor provided to each immigrant applying for nationality
C: Part of the cinema film classification system

The answer was C
It means Parental Guidance and applies to films where viewing is at the discretion of the parent. The other classifications are U, 12, 15 and 18.
Question 11
The British are a nation of animal lovers, says Life in the UK. What must dog owners do? Once again, ALL OF THE ABOVE would have been real nice to see
A: Get a licence
B: Get the dog neutered
C: Get a collar with the owner's name and address

The answer was C
The answer is C. Dog licences were abolished in 1987, but Life in the UK says there is still an obligation for a dog to wear a collar with the appropriate details.
Question 12
Back to that pub. The police turn up with the ambulance and an officer asks you to attend an interview at the station. What are your rights?
A: You don't have to go if you are not arrested, but if you do go voluntarily you are free to leave at any time
B: You must go. Failure to attend an interview is an arrestable offence
C: You must go if you are a foreign national

The answer was A

Question 13
What's the minimum time you must have been married before you can divorce?
A: Six months
B: One year
C: Two years

The answer was B

Question 14
And finally, what does Life in the UK tell you it is "very important" to do when engaging a solicitor?
A: Ask if they have a potential conflict of interest
B: Ensure they are qualified in the area of law of concern
C: Find out how much they charge

The answer was C
I'm sorry- find out how much they charge is more important than finding out if they are qualified?!?! No wonder no one sues anyone in this country- no one is qualified to do it.


So there we go. I only got 6 out of 14 correct and am PISSING MYSELF SCARED that I am going to fail this test if and when I take it. Especially if they ask inane and reDUNKulous questions like those. Because you're not really British unless you know where Santa comes from. Especially if it's a Santa YOU STOLE from the Americans. God, I wish this test were essay format. I FAIL miserably on multiple choice, but somehow do insanely brilliantly on essay. Fucking British Citizen test.

 

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