There Ain't No Devil, It's Just God When He's Drunk

I've been musing over Twitter these past few days. While I got a Twitter account ages ago because it seemed everyone was jumping on the bandwagon, I had no idea how to use it. 140 characters to say...what? In my head, it was just another Facebook status, and since everyone I knew was on Facebook, then how lame would you have to be to be on both?

Then I found out that celebrities were on Twitter and it open my eyes to another dimension of stalking. From reading The Superficial, I learned that apparently John Meyer Twitters like a crazy crack monkey, and that Ashton Kutcher just TwitPic'd Demi's bikini clad arse while on holiday. Why do you need to buy gossip mags when the celebs are laying out tidbits of their lives in 140 character blurbs ever 30 minutes?

And the sad thing is that we 'follow' them and get drawn even more into their lives than we already are and need to be. The other day I casually mentioned to a friend in Chicago that Stephen Fry is currently filming in South East Asia. "How the hell do you know that?" she asked, and I have to say, it was a little embarrassing to mumble out that I had read it on his Twitter.

But I think there are different levels of sad stalkage. While I may follow a few celebs (only Fry, Eddie Izzard who is SUPER boring, and Andy Murray), there are those who follow and try to force themselves into that persons life by replying to the Tweet. For instance, after Fry posts a TwitPic of, say, a monkey, about 70 people will reply with comments like 'Whoa, Fry, have you got a new pet?' or 'Aww, how cute. Now don't you go being a cheeky monkey'. I think this is retarded. If I were anywhere near famous and was actually doing something like working, I would definitely not be spending my time reading uninteresting comments that are attempting to bury their way into my life with their brown little noses.

That being said, I was almost one of them tonight. I know, hang head in shame. But Murray just won his first match in the Sony-Ericsson Open and is going out tonight to celebrate with court side seats to a Miami Heat game (STALKER). And I almost replied. Almost. I had hit the 'reply' button and had the blinking cursor in the little white square...but just couldn't do it. So I quickly just closed out of that tab and pretended that I was never there in the first place.

So while I love my Twitter updates telling me that Fry is rooting for Cambridge in the boat races today, I still don't really know what to do with the thing other than stalk other people more famous than me. This is made worse by the TwiterFox Mozilla application what lives in a corner of my browser and gives a little pop up evertime some celeb needs to tell me that they are going for a walk. And then that they were back from their walk. And that they are now going for sushi. And that they are going to sleep now. I'm looking at you, Izzard. Are there seriously people out there that give a damn and care? Oh, yeah, I guess me. Saddo.