There Ain't No Devil, It's Just God When He's Drunk

So I get this today:

From: Ingrid
Date: 2009/1/15
Subject: visa
To: Shady

This is regarding your visa application. I need your original bank statement, please send to my attention as soon as possible.

Thank you

Ingrid

The problem? I DONT HAVE ORIGINAL BANK STATEMENTS BECAUSE I GET ELECTRONIC ONES! The ones I sent her WERE the official electronic ones. So I race down to to the bank (40 minutes away, might I add!) to get THEM to print out my statement. Turns out they can't, they can only print out a copy of my transaction history. Fine. So I get that, post it to this chick, and go home. Then I look online to see what it says about electronic statements. I know, I probs should have done this first, but in my haste to make it to the bank and post office on time, it just didn't occure to me. I search, I search, and finally (since the helpful website does not come with a 'search' feature), I 'ctrl f' it to look for the words "funds." 20 minutes later I find it.

It says that printouts are fine as long as they are accompanied with an official letter from the bank on company paper stating that the information on my electronic statement is true. Ummm...shit. So I go BACK to the bank (I SPENT ALMOST 3 HOURS in travel today!!) and show them what the visa requirements say. The problem? Banks in the US DONT DO LETTERS. I asked a Teller and was referred to her manager. The manager said that they don't have letterhead because anything they print out is verified legal. So there is NO way I can get a letter from them because they don't have any letterhead, and I would have to contact their corporate customer services for help....All she could do was print out my transaction history (again) and stamp it with the Washington Mutual branch stamp. She also signed it...for what it was worth. So I posted that too. Then I came home and went back on line to see what the Washington Mutual webpage had to offer. For $5 each, I could get a paper copy sent to me. So I spent $20 on that...which takes 5-15 working days!!! So IF this lady won't accept my Bank print out of my transaction history, then in a week or two I should have my paper copy....but by that time, who knows if this lady will have given up on me , DENIED my application, and sent it back.....I am going off to sob hysterically into my pillow now.