There Ain't No Devil, It's Just God When He's Drunk

I gotta ask: WTF is up with 'lookin gansta'? Apparently the Podunk hick town my family moved to is not only in the absolute middle of nowhere, but also the METH capital of California and home of one of the LARGEST Latino gangs in the state. Boy do they know how to pick 'em!

Today, my mom and I drove into town to restock on household supplies. While waiting at the red light, two guys walked across the crosswalk. Now, I don't want to make any assumptions, but I think it's pretty safe to say that the look they were going for would not be found in J.Crew. Hair slicked back with so much grease you could probably fry a chicken in it, jeans so baggy and low that three people could fit in them, and a big, puffy jacket that would have made even the most anorexic look like the Marshmallow Man, had it been worn properly. Instead, despite the (in my mind) chilly 42F foggy weather, the jacket was worn off the shoulders, as though it was desperately in a race with this individual's pants to see who could fall to the ground the fastest. Because that's so sexy.

I mean really, to girls (or at least this female mind), I can see nothing attractive about that look. So if it's not meant to impress girls, then it must be meant to impress guys, but I am still trying to figure out the male mind. I can only assume that wearing clothes too big for you means you haven't grown up from being 7 when wearing your dad's tee shirts was seen as adorable, and you're just on the look out for another 7 year old 20somthing to play with. Awww.

Also, there's the walk. These guys were limping across the road like they both were peg-legged pirates with a bad case of termites. My mom looked at me and asked if they were born with hip or joint defects, or if they actually practiced that forced hobble. I can just see it now: guys in front of a mirror, catwalking back and forth in front of each other. "No, man, more limp! More arm swinging! You need to really embrace the essence of a gorilla with a club foot"

Then of course are the cars. Chicks love cars, right? Especially the ones that are really really really really low (because we love getting to flash everyone trying to manoeuvre out of those ), and baby, nothing makes me want to rip off my clothes and bang you harder than seeing a crappy ass jalopy 'pimped' out with gold rims and a fur lined interior that together cost more than 5 of those cars sans the cosmetic augmentation. I'm getting hot just thinking about it. Blasting music loud enough to make my unborn children deaf is also a major plus because hearing is totally overrated, just like literacy.

Seriously, I can't see how or why this image in my town has become the definiton of cool, tough, sexy, and hot.

Which is probably why I stay at home knitting. What was that, grandma, you want more tea?