There Ain't No Devil, It's Just God When He's Drunk

Ah, another wonderful outing with Grandma. She was already making me grind my teeth and threatening to commit homocide before we even got out of the driveway.
"I'm excited to go to Ross!"
"Uh huh"
"You know, your mom told me that there were all kinds of places to shop up here when she was trying to get me to move"
"Uh huh"
"She promised me that she would take me to Ross and that there was a Dollar Store up here, but she's never taken me."
"We're not going to the Dollar store, that's up in Grass Valley."
"Well your mom said there was one in down here"
"I'm sure there is, but I don't know where it is and I'm not going to go traipsing around town looking for one."
"Well I didin't say I wanted to go to one, only that there was one down here and that you mom promised me we'd go"
"Well if you didn't want to go to one, why did you bring it up?"
'Oh, I thought it would be fun to find it"
"I'm not going to look for one"
"I didn't say I wanted to go to one"
"Okay"

Then, we had another tipping incident. We ate at this Chinese Buffet that grandma is in love with, and it came to $15. When it was time to leave, granny whips out her purse and pulls out 65 cents in nickles and dimes.
"Grandma, we should leave at least $2"
"Well NOT my quarters! "

4 hours later, we finally go t back home.

Now, I'm no Indiana Jones/Bushman/Detective tracker, but I swore I could see the tire (tyre) tracks of the UPS truck imprinted in our rain-softened dirt/gravel driveway. So I was praying that my mom was home to sign for the delivery I was pretty sure arrived. Sure enough, when I brought all of grandma's shopping in, there it was on the kitchen counter...MY VISA! FINALLY!

After almost two months for what was quoted to be a 24 hour turn around time, I FINALLY GOT MY VISA! Entery clearance from 20/01/09-20/01/11

Wankers didn't backtrack it to NOW so that I could have my whole MONTH, but whatever. I'll take January, even though technically, it should totally read 01/02/09. The British Consulate: Taking you money, your soul, and a HUGE portion of your time.