There Ain't No Devil, It's Just God When He's Drunk

Yeah, you can add

-Can of Koppaburg Pear Cider; expired August 2007

to the list of expired items I've consumed this week.

<cite>Afghanistan's only pig quarantined in flu fear | U.S. | Reuters</cite>: "

Afghanistan's only pig quarantined in flu fear


KABUL (Reuters) - Afghanistan's only known pig has been locked in a room, away from visitors to Kabul zoo where it normally grazes beside deer and goats, because people are worried it could infect them with the virus popularly known as swine flu.

The pig is a curiosity in Muslim Afghanistan, where pork and pig products are illegal because they are considered irreligious, and has been in quarantine since Sunday after visitors expressed alarm it could spread the new flu strain.

That's right. Because pigs spontaneously bust out with the swine flu, just like the Human Torch can spontaneously burst out in flame. It's all an elaborate, evil plot by pigs everywhere to microbiologically wreck revenge upon the human population for eating them for so many years.

It's no secret that I'm known amongst my friends as being somewhat overtly frugal (not including when I'm around yarn). During my time at university, I was constantly heckled for the sometimes outrageous lenghts I would go in order to save a few dollars. Eating expired food was one, as was sustaining myself on beans on toast for few months, hitting up every and all events that advertised anything 'free' (India night? I see you have free Samosas...Discover Buddhism? Is that free tea?) I even camped outside a local 'Historic Day' event while I was supposed to be working just to snag a piece of free cake, and forced a bunch of friends to accompany me to a 'free food' event at our college, where all we had to do was sacrifice our dignity and self-respect by posing for cheesy photos and participating in 'ice breakers'. You mention free, and I am so there.

And while I get teased for this it's good to know that I'm not alone- apparently everyone on my grandma's side of the family is just as keen to save a few pennies.

Like my cousin. She is also an avid knitter and entered some of her projects in the local county Fair. My mom, speaking to her on the phone, dropped that she hadn't been to a fair to see a family contribution in ages, and might consider driving down (like 3 hours down) to see it. Cousin was quick to mention that the fair was costly (around $8 or so) to get into, and that rather than spend money on an entry ticket, my mom should do what she always did- go on Thursday, which is cookie day, and bring a large donation of home baked cookies. That way, you totally get to get in for free!

I, personally, see nothing wrong with this- I mean come on! Pay for fair entry with cookies? Brilliant. I'd do it. My mom, on the other hand, isn't exactly cut from the same domestic stock that we are- in fact, I can't even remember the last time she baked cookies that didn't come from a pre-made Philsbury package.

So at least I'm not alone in my world of hyper frugality and thrift. Rock on.

I realise that I've been eating a lot of food lately that are long past their expired date. But to be fair, fresh food costs money, and I don't really have a lot of that at the moment, seeing as how I
stupidly ran away from decided I needed a break in between jobs at the NHS and the NLS. This extra time, while giving me plenty of time to knit to my hearts content, has also left me to forage around in the dark abysses of the cupboard for edibles. So far I have found and consumed

1. Bag of popcorn, best used by August 2008

2. Bread, failing to notice until slice 3 that it was speckled with little blue dots of mould

3. Cheese, equally covered in mould, which I simple cut off before putting on the unknowingly mouldy bread

4. Tea, best used by October 2008

5. Bengal Lentil Mix from Trader Joe's that my mom sent across 2 years ago with an expiry date so faded, it's tough to tell it's for last year, this year, or 10 years in the future

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

Spring is here in the burgh! Spring is one of my favourite seasons because of les fleurs. And Edinburgh is chockablock full of them. On Sunday, Scottie's parents came over early, and while Scottie was away at the gym pumping iron, the 'rents and I headed off to the Edinburgh Botanical Gardens for an indulgent walk amongst the blooms. Because it was Spring, the garden was in full colour. The Meadows are also in full bloom, and there is nothing I love more than sitting out in the meadows, knitting under the sun, listening to the random Hippie guitarists, and watching the pink and white blooms float magically down in the breezes.Ahhhhhhhhhh. So that was this weekend- Knitting, reading, and sunning. It was a great way to relax after the hell that was last week. And even though I am not working just now, I am super busy with all the stuff I wanted to get finished but was too exhausted to do.
1) The Knitting- This will never end. But I am thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to finishing up the pieces for my hoodie, and I just need to get half a sleeve done and the hood before I can sew the thing up. Then I will have finished my first garment.
2) Birthday Knitting. I realised that I am one month away from a best mate's birthday, so the hoodie knitting is taking a wee rest while I pump out something. I'm not sure I like it though..more on that in June when 'll post the pics on Ravelry.
3) Reading. Normally I have been too tired to even come home, lay in bed, and read, but now that I am taking a working break, I can FINALLY indulge in the books I naughtily bought with my naught money(he he British play on words there) and even more naughitily bought more of today. Shame, shame!.
4) Cooking. I have been meaning to make this saurkarut chocolate cake for ages since I impulsively bought a massive jar of saurkarut for my 4 dinky hot dogs. And as delicious as saurkarut on toast is, the jar is taking up precious space in the mini fridge and needs to be consumed. Cake, you will be made.

Such a little miss home-maker!

There is definately a strong female pressance in our section of the NHS. In fact, now that Tom's been sacked, there are only 3 blokes in the whole opperation. Now, there is this stereotype of the female secretary, and little female office underling, but after a week back at the NHS, it's very clear to me why. We can do what men can't- multi-task at a high velocity.

I have several case studies on this.

1) While in the endoscopy secretary's office, I realised that I was witnessing her speak on the phone to an IT man to fix her computer while printing out 5 individual clinical lists for me. Doesn't sound impressive, but there is NO WAY my lovely Honey could have done the same thing. Heck, when he's on the phone, he has to leave the room in order to avoid any distractions. And if I try to tell him while he's on the phone to his mom that I want to speak to her after he's done, he waves his hand at me all annoyed-like, asks her to repeat whatever it was she said to him on the phone, and then afterwards, when he's hung up, says he doesn't remember me talking to him. Or, when he's researching something on the computer, he can't be interupted with anything- small talk, instructions, or advice. So in a good way, he's very focused on what he wants to get done and doesn't let himself get distracted- but there is no way he can balance more than one item on his plate.

2) Arron. Arron's work place title is the same as mine. In fact, I took over after him when he moved hospitals, but now he's being made to jump between hospitals to help give aid to the fact that they are so understaffed. At the Western, he does reception. And true to Male form, while he's very good at what he does, he can only to it one thing at a time. If he's on the phone, he is unable to log in patients. If he's phoning up a GP to get a referral, he is unable to make notes at the same time. I have the ability to negoiate with angry patients on the phone while cheerfully logging in arriving patients, and then turning around and printing up hospital labels for the next day's clinic with smooth, easy, translation.

3)Phil and Ross. These two have basically the same job, but at different hospitals. They enter patients onto the waiting list, organise who patient letters informing them of their upcoming appointments, and phone them up for verbal confirmation. But they are unable to even talk about their weekend or what they're doing on Holiday while working. They are either focused on work, silently giving their all to completing the task, or they are chatting away and not doing any work at all because they don't know how to do both at the same time.

Meanwhile, the females of the office are pulling out all the strings, talking on the phone while typing, mailing letters while giving appointments, and keeping abreast of all the work that's happening around them and of what needs to be done.

Multi-task skillz? Oh yeah, the XX genes has it.

This week has been a whirl of emotions for me-

Monday: Still unemployed, sleeping in, and knitting like a bad ass
Tuesday: Happy to have employment, but feeling apprehensive about being thrown into the deep end with the sharks
Wednesday: Absolute hell. Tears, sobbing, see below.
Thursday: Determined to make the day better, Still stressful, but coping
Friday: Excellent. Praise poured from all angles, begging me to stay, quality banter, and actually enjoyed myself.

So there we are. Two days ago, I was rearing to go, about the throw in the towel, and say 'Good luck, sucker' as I stored out in a blaze of fire and angst. Now, I am actually considering going back to do part time work while also working at the Library. Crazy? Yeah, sounds like me.

But the thing is, I managed to SORT OUT EVERYTHING for next week. Get what we needed ahead of time, make the arrangements for notes to be delivered, and got it to the point where we're now back on track. Evil boss from hell who I totally still thinks hates me, gave me a shower of praise in front of everyone and said she would cry now that I'm going. All the secretaries <3 me, and I've made fast friends with the people I got placed to work with. I even opted to walk home (read: 1.25 hours away) with a colleague so we could just chat, and we ended with exchanged numbers, promises to keep in touch, and even have dinner over at each others'. So if I continued to work there, then I know that I will not be starved for company, and if they keep things as organised as I've made them, then the job itself should be relatively easy.

So I am actually thinking of going back.

Good idea? Bad idea? We'll see....