There Ain't No Devil, It's Just God When He's Drunk

I had to work on Saturday the 25th. After, I came home and packed, and My Honey and I left for Dunfermline to stay with his parents. This holiday was his parents' treat, so all accommodation, food, and even some fun money was included. I know, I know, SO spoiled!

July 26 2009
I woke up at 4:30 am to get ready, and we left the house at 5:50 to make it to the airport by 6:20, our check in time. We arrived in Krakow at 11:30 local time, but hmmm...NO LUGGAGE! Apparently bloody Easy Jet lost 138 cases (aka didn't even bother loading them on the plane), so I was somewhat stranded. Luckily, EasyJet also messed up the baggage identification tags, so even though my case was missing, the luggage tag was for My Honey's mom's bag. This was good because she and The Dad had travellers insurance and were allotted £100 lbs for the first day, £100 for the second, and £1,500 after that. In other words, I had £100 to spend on new clothes and accessories and toiletries. So even though my bag didn't arrive, I got to go shopping, and I was in luck because a massive mall was located just a quick 7 minute walk away from the hotel.

Well, after arriving at the hotel with no luggage, My Honey and I went downstairs to the Hotel restaurant/bar. The hotel was POSH. The Dad claimed it was a 4 star. Timber ceilings, tapestried chairs, fancy rugs, and velvet couches, all newly refurbished to resemble the elegance it had back in the 17th century.


Our hotel room


Our bathroom was beautiful, with marble floor, bidet, and large bath, but no shower! There was a hand one connected to a hose that you could use to manually spray yourself off, but not a proper stand up one. This meant that plenty of times, an accidental turn of turn of the wrist caused a spray of rain to shoot out over the whole room, drenching the towels, floor, toilet, and anything else in the way. The hotel also featured a bar and restaurant and filled up the pavement outside with outdoor tables. We ordered Mojitos and I got a bowl of soup that was fabulous! It was just a simple broth with some noodles in it, but it was very flavourful. Then we went to the mall to buy things like toothbrushes, cream, socks and underwear. I figured that if my case didn't arrive tomorrow, I would have another £100 to go back to get clothes. Yes, it did make me a bit ill that I was in Krakow and that my first place to visit was the mall, but c'est la vie.

After our mall jaunt, it was time to explore the neighbourhood. The Mom was feeling very rough and spent the rest of the day in bed, so it was just The Dad, My Honey, and me. Wow, there were like 5,000 bars/cafes/alcohol shops!



My Honey and I left The Dad with a coffee at a small cafe where all the tables are made out of 1930 Singer Sewing machines!

We wandered around and then got some ice cream. The temperature there was like 87 degrees and very nice after all the cold, rubbish Scottish weather. We met up with The Dad at 7:45 for dinner since The Mom was still sick in bed. The three of us went to a very nice restaurant/bar. The restaurant was outside, the bar was inside. The bar walls were pitch black. The only lights came from some soft glowing red lights hanging from the ceiling, and from the candles lit on the tables. In the corner was a large ghoulish ghost/monster that looked like it was just emerging from the shadows to grab you. Very creepy, but very cool. I had the traditional Polish perogi (dumplings) filled with meat. What kind of meat? Just meat. And they were most delicious. Then we headed back to the hotel where My Honey and I took a bath and headed to bed.

I just got back from an a wonderful 8 day trip to Krakow, Poland, and can I just say that I freaking LOVE that place? And not just because I'm cheap or an alkie (40% alcohol Vanilla Vodka that tastes like it was distilled from Angel tears for only £2.00 at the pub?!?!?! £5 a bottle?!?! Yes please!!!), but the whole place was wonderful. I suddenly discovered a part of me that I had never experience before- that of a shopaholic in a foreign country. The first day I was forced to buy almost a new wardorbe (more on that later), but from that point on, I couldn't stop myself. Was it that Polish clothes are awesome in an ecclectic but fashionale way? Or the fact that everything was not only cheap against the pound, but also ON SALE? I seriously had to force myself to stop buying clothes, vodka, jewlery and shoes because I just didn't have the packing space.

'What time should we get up?' my Honey asked as we were bedding down for the night.

What the fuck?



Seriously?!?! Best parents ever. I bet this kid also goes home to a beer and foot rub by an Asian concubine.