There Ain't No Devil, It's Just God When He's Drunk

One of the things that I really don't get about people is how tenacious they are to park their car as close as humanly possible to the store's entrance.

This is especially bad in the ghetto city of Linda, where locals and Marysvillians gather at the Super Wal-Mart to shop since silly things like grocery stores or non-conglomerates don't exist.

Even though I was home for only two months, I think I visited the Linda Super Wal-Mart at least 4 times, and every time was the same: I scooted into the first parking space I could see, but everyone else slowly trolled the parking lanes, looking for that one space that was that much closer to the front doors. The worst I saw was a truck that waited for several minutes for another car to leave just so it could be TWO spaces closer. I mean, come on! There are empty spaces ALL AROUND and this truck chose to idle in the middle of the lane for at least 3 minutes just waiting around for some old lady to back out so it could park 10 feet closer.

And these people who shop regularily at the Super Wal-Mart aren't exactly what you would call the fittest of the fit. If any thing, they desperately need to park as far away from the store enterance in order to squeeze in a few more feet of excercise. But no. Instead they circle the parking lot like sharks, looking for that one sweet spot. Then they waddle in and immedately grab the motorised shopping cart.

This normally wouldn't bother me, but they are SO rude! They drive around like the aisles of Wal-Mart are express freeways, and then HONK at you if you're in their way of putting more Oreos in their cart. Umm, just because you're fat doesn't mean you have the right of way in a store...if I have to bide my time waiting for an oppertunity to scoot my cart around you in the snack food aisle, then you can very well bide your time waiting for me to pick out a 0 trans-fat/low sugar cereal in the breakfast food asile, thank you very much.

Have you ever noticed how the universe and buses seem to conspire against you when you just happen to have a moment of laziness?

I don't know about you, but this always seems to happen to me. There's somewhere I need to go and I can either walk or take the bus. Walking would take about 15 minutes- not bad at all, unless it happens to be pissing down rain, or I'm in heels, or I just feel I can't be bothered. So I'll go stand at the bus stop. Oh look, a bus should be coming in 3 minutes. So much faster to take the bus. Then 3 minutes go by. Then another 3. And another. Finally 10 minutes have passed and there is no sight of the bus.

By now I'm pretty annoyed because I know that if I had just sucked it up and walked, I would have probably have been where I wanted to go by now. So now I can either continue to wait for the bus, all the while knowing that I am going to be arriving later and later, or just start walking there and hope that I can walk faster than the bus can drive. Will the waiting for the bus now take more than 15 extra minutes? Should I just walk? Walking does burn calories. Oh, but I've waited this long, I'm sure the bus will be here shortly. And then there will be traffic. Which means I'll get there 5 minutes late. Or maybe if I just walked really fast I would burn off twice as many calories and beat the bus.

Naturally, the bus then comes along and I end up arriving at where I'm supposed to be at the exact same time that I probably would have arrived if I had walked.