Thursday 25 September 2008
For the next two weeks, you'll be getting a lot of blogs from me...like a lot a lot. This is due to the fact that I am currently temping as a receptionist and have way tooooo much free time on my hands. AND am blocked from a plethera of time consuming sites. I mean, facebook I can understand because a lot of employees might be using it for nonconstructive purposes, but gmail?!?! Seriously?!?! I can't even check my e-mail? While no one has told me the reason for this, I assume it has to do with the fact that I work for a big time investment corporation and they might be a little scared of their employees sending inside information that they can't monitor or trace...but then again I can blog, so maybe security isn't the reason after all. That being said, being here (for only 4 days now) has made me realise some inner life relevations:
1) I don't want to be a receptionist. EVER. I should be the person the receptionist connects a caller to, not the one who sits all day mindlessly next to the phone, waiting to get the chance to say 'Good morning/afternoon, B***** G*****,...one moment please while I direct your call.' No. I graduated Phi Beta Kappa and Cum Laude from a top ranked American university, and have a masters from a prestigious British one-I so do not want to spend my life doing this. Unfortunately, reception is all the temp agency thinks I am capable of at the moment, and I don't want to get a 'settled' job just now because I still need to get my legal work visa in December. The overwhelming boredom, coupled with the now insider knowledge of how much I don't want my life to turn into this and has caused me to (a) stalk people through their blogs and (b) read about how others have real jobs and ambitions. This has led to inner life relevation 2.
2) That I don't have a frickkin idea of what I am going to do in life. Up until now, this hasn't bothered me. For the past 6 years I have had a pretty relaxed attitude with my life ambitions, resolutely believing that I'd just 'fall into something' after graduation. Afterall, everyone (my parents, my friends' parents, etc...) all told me of how they ended up doing something completely unrelated to their major (apart from my dad), and how everything worked itself out. So what if you're an Art History major, Archaeology minor? You'll be fiiiiiiiiiine. Then after graduating and moving to the UK for 6 months in the hopes that someone would hire me, (supporting my visa, and allowing for me to continue working in the UK) FAILED to produce any said visa...I decided to run away back to school. Now with another diploma under my belt, I still have no job and no idea what I want to do. It doesn't help that I am reading copious blogs about very successful women no older than myself. One just got hired by an awesome, high paying, health care giving private company, another owns her own boutique, and hands full of others are pursuing high paying jobs in law and medicine.
And this makes me sick to my stomach. Why?
Because I am a constant compare-er. I know this is a major character flaw, but I can't help but constantly compare myself to others about everything- intelligence, fashion, weight, shoes, jobs, love, happiness, IQ...you name it. And after reading a few of these blogs, I look at myself and all I see is failure. It also doesn't help that there are loads of young girls where I'm temping who either did the graduate training scheme or are on it now, and I can't help but think to myself that I should be one of them, even though I really don't see myself as an investment manager-accountant-equity-risk assessor. But I am envious of their suits and that they are not sitting at reception.
When asked what I want to do, I seriously have NO idea. I'll vaguely mention heritage because I did history, but honestly, I have no idea what that entails.
Here is my want list in order of importance:
1) Something that makes me excited to go to work each day
2) That helps people/society
3) That requires some form of problem solving/creative thinking
4) Something with change- I am SICK of monotonous jobs and want something that incorporates some form of change
5) Good working conditions/staff- yay for friendliness, boo to stuck upedness, rudeness, and office bickering
6) Benefits! I HATE being uninsured when I go back to the States and not having dental coverage
7) Travel- optional, not required, but preferable. I LOVE traveling, especially if someone else is paying for it. Plus, I would help feed my technology craving for fun little gadets that obviously I would need if I wanted to get any work down traveling (small ASUS web computer, I am talking to you).
I read in one blog that one person is pursuing a career in intelligence. Hmmm...that got me thinking...Criminal Intelligence...helping to put the baddies away by researching and investigating their crimes, patterns, profiles...
This leads to revelation numero 3
3) That I will most likely have to go back to school. Again. While I like going to school and learning new things, particularly if they'll lead to a better job, what I don't like is paying for it. Again. As if milking my poor grandma dry to pay for grad school wasn't enough. As if milking my parents dry for my undergrad education wasn't enough. Nope, this is something I'll have to pay for myself, and that will require probably a year or two of monotonous suffering and a few night/internet courses to meet the pre-recs. And who knows, maybe after spending all my saved up money to learn about intelligence, I won't want to do it anymore and will be looking for something else.
It's freak out times like these that I sometimes wish our world was controlled a la The Giver style.
1) I don't want to be a receptionist. EVER. I should be the person the receptionist connects a caller to, not the one who sits all day mindlessly next to the phone, waiting to get the chance to say 'Good morning/afternoon, B***** G*****,...one moment please while I direct your call.' No. I graduated Phi Beta Kappa and Cum Laude from a top ranked American university, and have a masters from a prestigious British one-I so do not want to spend my life doing this. Unfortunately, reception is all the temp agency thinks I am capable of at the moment, and I don't want to get a 'settled' job just now because I still need to get my legal work visa in December. The overwhelming boredom, coupled with the now insider knowledge of how much I don't want my life to turn into this and has caused me to (a) stalk people through their blogs and (b) read about how others have real jobs and ambitions. This has led to inner life relevation 2.
2) That I don't have a frickkin idea of what I am going to do in life. Up until now, this hasn't bothered me. For the past 6 years I have had a pretty relaxed attitude with my life ambitions, resolutely believing that I'd just 'fall into something' after graduation. Afterall, everyone (my parents, my friends' parents, etc...) all told me of how they ended up doing something completely unrelated to their major (apart from my dad), and how everything worked itself out. So what if you're an Art History major, Archaeology minor? You'll be fiiiiiiiiiine. Then after graduating and moving to the UK for 6 months in the hopes that someone would hire me, (supporting my visa, and allowing for me to continue working in the UK) FAILED to produce any said visa...I decided to run away back to school. Now with another diploma under my belt, I still have no job and no idea what I want to do. It doesn't help that I am reading copious blogs about very successful women no older than myself. One just got hired by an awesome, high paying, health care giving private company, another owns her own boutique, and hands full of others are pursuing high paying jobs in law and medicine.
And this makes me sick to my stomach. Why?
Because I am a constant compare-er. I know this is a major character flaw, but I can't help but constantly compare myself to others about everything- intelligence, fashion, weight, shoes, jobs, love, happiness, IQ...you name it. And after reading a few of these blogs, I look at myself and all I see is failure. It also doesn't help that there are loads of young girls where I'm temping who either did the graduate training scheme or are on it now, and I can't help but think to myself that I should be one of them, even though I really don't see myself as an investment manager-accountant-equity-risk assessor. But I am envious of their suits and that they are not sitting at reception.
When asked what I want to do, I seriously have NO idea. I'll vaguely mention heritage because I did history, but honestly, I have no idea what that entails.
Here is my want list in order of importance:
1) Something that makes me excited to go to work each day
2) That helps people/society
3) That requires some form of problem solving/creative thinking
4) Something with change- I am SICK of monotonous jobs and want something that incorporates some form of change
5) Good working conditions/staff- yay for friendliness, boo to stuck upedness, rudeness, and office bickering
6) Benefits! I HATE being uninsured when I go back to the States and not having dental coverage
7) Travel- optional, not required, but preferable. I LOVE traveling, especially if someone else is paying for it. Plus, I would help feed my technology craving for fun little gadets that obviously I would need if I wanted to get any work down traveling (small ASUS web computer, I am talking to you).
I read in one blog that one person is pursuing a career in intelligence. Hmmm...that got me thinking...Criminal Intelligence...helping to put the baddies away by researching and investigating their crimes, patterns, profiles...
This leads to revelation numero 3
3) That I will most likely have to go back to school. Again. While I like going to school and learning new things, particularly if they'll lead to a better job, what I don't like is paying for it. Again. As if milking my poor grandma dry to pay for grad school wasn't enough. As if milking my parents dry for my undergrad education wasn't enough. Nope, this is something I'll have to pay for myself, and that will require probably a year or two of monotonous suffering and a few night/internet courses to meet the pre-recs. And who knows, maybe after spending all my saved up money to learn about intelligence, I won't want to do it anymore and will be looking for something else.
It's freak out times like these that I sometimes wish our world was controlled a la The Giver style.
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