There Ain't No Devil, It's Just God When He's Drunk

Yesterday I went to register with my SECOND temp agency. Because I figure, you might as well sew your seed in as many places as possible.

The good news is that it turns out I didn't really lie on my CV. On my CV, I stretched the truth to say I was 'Extremely proficient in MS Office' and 'Can type over 50 words/min'. Honestly, I had no idea if this was true when I wrote my CV up. All I remember is that in High school computer class, I got a B+ because I had 'shifty eyes' (thank you Mr. Asshole. Shifty eyes is NOT a reason to give someone a B. I think you were just being RACIST!) and that I used Word a lot to write papers.

Turns out that I can in fact type 53 words a minute with 98% accuracy (holla!) and scored above average on Microsoft Word. Giggidy.

The bad news is that the temp agency said they were swamped and that it might be a while before they could find placement for me. But I figured as much in this economy.

Which is why, in true Shady style, I stole all the pens. What, they were really nice pens! Good weight, smooth writing..just begging to be put in my purse. I also might have grabbed all the candies in the interview rooms. Yes rooms, I was placed in one to fill out paperwork, and another one to have a 'chat' about what kind of jobs i was looking for. Both held little dishes with candy in them. Well, not any more. Now I have a pocket full of pens and candy.

Totally owned you, temp agency and your lack of jobs!